Sunday, November 29, 2009

i cant go any further than thisss .

* i just want to take this time to say i am SORRY ! for the hiatus . i knew it was going to happen i just didnt know it was going to happen so soon . things have been so  . . . up & down & all around . ive been running circles around my life & let me just say im TIRED . i've realized i cant do this anymore . i cant constantly surround my self with people who have nothing going for them . people who just sit on thier ass waiting for things to happen . yess i like to party , more than anyone that i know . but i just cant do this anymoree . . . i cant keep spending money on these temporay highs . i cant keep fucking up friendships . i cant keep doing these random hook ups . i cant . im not saying this is the end of me going outt . but . i need to calm it down . & focus on the things that will make me happy forever . not for two hours . thanks for listening or errr reading .


i have a confession .
i have still yet to see new moon .
im not a true twilight fan .
get a rope and hang me on my door step .
for i have shamed humanity .
BUT . when i finish this post .
im gonna watch it .
on my computer .
like a broke bored fucking asshole .
& then i'll start on my new moon post .
*promiseee .


i found this extremely funny ; she inspires me so much to be myself it makes no sense.

“Music is about bringing all people together, music has no fucking religion, it has no fucking color, it has no fucking genre, it has no politics, it has no money, it’s fucking free.”


not in the mood to be posting anything elseee .
so here's some photographyyyy .
enjoy :]

* soo cuteee .


why must you be so distant ?
why must you constantly push me away ?
dont you know i want whats best for you ?
 i would give up my life just so you could get one more breath of air .
but baby i cant go any furthher than thiss .
i cant keep running after you .
the soles on my shoes are no longer there.
i would rather masturbate for the rest of my life .
than to have meaningless sex with you .
what we had doesn't exist anymore .
but on your darkest days .
when you need that one person to understand what your going through .
someone to just listen to all your worries .
i will always be at that borderline where i stopped at .
alwaysss .

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

fresh black hole .

life is utterly wierd right now .
i feel sooo happy in the heart .
but sooo dark in the soul .
is that a contridiction ?
ehh , fuck it .

yall bxtches know what i want to be in life right ? righhtttttttt !?!? well if you didnt know i want to be a [ journalist / writer / poet / fashion consultant )
is it me or do i have too much shxt on my plate ? oh well , i cant see myself in life just being one . my mind is sooo fucked in the head that i feel i can do extremely well in all fields .
with that being said : ITS TIME TO SWITCH THE FUCKING STYLE UP .
& if they hate , then let em hate , and watch the money pile up .

i wanna be more artsyyy ; the style is soo fucking me its insaane .

all my clothes are all black anywayy . BUT , im fucking mitch oblitey . i will alwaaaaysss keep it chic .
like my bxtch DAISY LOWE :

i would post a picutre of myself . . . but uhmmm . im not ready for thatt .

soo i decided to give The City one more try . & it was actually good episode . she has like my DREAAAAMMMMM job . living in New York & working for Nylon . gahh , i'd KILL for her lifee . but he freind Roxy is the one who caught my attention . she's feaarless and im fucking with it . you have to admit though the gal is gorgeouss .but notice how she goes to work but they dont ever show her doing anything ? yeaah okay she follows her manager to shoot and parties . but what actually does she do ? when i DO [ yess , this is a dream that im fighting for ) work for Nylon , im gonna go to fashion shows and coffe clubs for like poetry jams and travel to different countries and check out their style & see how they party and write about for the magazinee . i wanna start this journey when im 25 . not too old , but not too young either . i just feel like all television shows are about fashion , be assistants and working for big modeling & fashion companies . im not complaining but i feel sorry for the people who dont want anything to do with fashion when they grow up . i looooveeeeee fashion , but it's not my passion . if someone was to tell me i couldn't write & i couldn't express my ideas i think i would jump off a cliff and dive into a pool full snakes .

my heart stopped beating when i saw these picturess .
right after class tomorrow , im getting it .
cutting them outt .
putting them on the ceiling in my bedroom .
its that deep . if fucking love twilight .
three weeks & two more days till New Moon .
im no where near ready .

" he's an adorable creaturee :] "

team vampire or werewolf ?

i have never had an obsession as big as twilight . i never thought it would turn into this . when i was reading the book i was in my own world . in my head i was bella . and i know im not the only girl that felt this way . he cares about her more than he cares about himself . they are always blaming each other and its soo beautiful . & how fucking sexy is it that he comed into her room and she sleeps by him everynight while he lays there with her and stares at her . i think we love it so much because it's so far from reality . we dont want to believe that edward is a perfect man just because he is a vampire . we want to believe that mabee , just maaabeeee . our edward cullen is
out there to whisk us away in his volvo . i love the awkward love they have for each other . how he's soooo intune with he even though he cant read her mind . bella does get on last nerve sometimes , but we cant help but love her because she had edward . and ohhhh jacob black . everygirls bad ass . he's like a cool bestfriend who's a immature in such a cute way you just want to rape him . i fucking love it when he gets mad . its sooo sexxyy . i could go on for dayys. but let me just say i will have the BIGGEST post on new moon . from photography , my favorite qoutes in the book , music & the bands from the new moon soundtrack .


*lmfao ! i literally laughed for like five minutess .


i want to be reborn again .
i want to re - invent myself .
i want to take back all my blank stares from you and replace them with i love you's . i want to re - cry my tears for happiness instead of wasting them on despair . i never wanted my soul to be this dark , it's to the point where i can't even see around me . the streets are blue black and i can hear the crows singing in the night . you way past overdue for paying the electricity bill for my heart . & even though my soul is dark who says i cant replace it with a darker onee . its a fresh black hole straight out the oven .